


You Don't Know Shit About Cats

by HallowedNight



Series: Newmann One-Shots [7]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff, Hermann loves animals, Humor, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia references, Kittens, M/M, Newton exploits that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:30:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowedNight/pseuds/HallowedNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newton brings home a mysterious, mewing box. Hermann is not impressed (until he is).</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Don't Know Shit About Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Mooore fluffity-fluff for Tumblr. c: This was way too much fun to write.

It had been quite a while since Newt was nervous coming back to his own apartment. Well, half his apartment. Hermann owned the other half, he guessed.

Anyway, it had been a while since Newt had come home with something to hide or be ashamed of, and, though this wasn’t exactly one of those situations, he had a feeling Hermann wouldn’t be very pleased about Newton’s newest procurement.

Awkwardly juggling a large box under one arm and several bags hanging from his wrists, Newt wrestled his key out of his pocket and unlocked his apartment door, then stuck just his head inside for a moment.

“Hermann?”

“Yes?” the mathematician in question called back faintly.

“Where are you?” Newt began to inch through the doorway, craning his neck to see if Hermann was in the living room or kitchen.

“In the bathroom.”

Newton sighed with relief and finished waddling his way into the little entrance hall. “Hey, we don’t have any holes in the walls, do we?” he asked as he set down his bags in the hallway and stepped out of his boots with some difficulty.

Hermann stepped out of the bathroom at this point, clothed in nothing but a towel, which was slung around his hips, and looking suspicious. “The apartment is barely a year old, of course there are no holes in the walls,” he said as he stood in the bedroom and tousled his hair dry with another towel.

“Not even small ones?” Newt reiterated as he took his box into the living room and flopped down on the rug. Hermann followed him, crossing his arms as he picked up on Newton’s half guilty, half innocent expression.

“No. What is that?”

“Um… Well-” Newt’s excuses were interrupted by Trespasser, their two-year-old Miniature Schnauzer, who skidded out of the bedroom to jump at the biologist’s chest for a moment before sniffing enthusiastically at the box between his legs. Wiping dog saliva off his mouth, Newt continued: “Uh…before you say anything, they were gonna be put to sleep-”

“What’s in the box, Newton?”

New sighed and pulled open the box to reveal five squirming kittens, all mewling energetically as they crawled over their siblings and tried to reach the top of their container. Trespasser immediately stuck her nose in the box but jumped back with a snort as it was whacked by a tiny paw.

“ _Newton!_ ” Hermann exhaled exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he gazed down at his partner. “We can’t have five cats in our-”

Newt just smiled. “Don’t argue, Hermann. I can’t take them back, and you love animals.”

Hermann shook his head, but didn’t dispute Newton’s claims as he retreated momentarily to the bedroom to put on some clothes. In the meantime, Newt pulled off his jacket and carefully tipped the box over, making a little paddock with his legs as the five kittens spilled onto the carpet.

“We’re not naming them after Kaiju,” Hermann said as he made his way back into the living room and flopped down beside Newt, who leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek before answering. “Nah, I already have names for all of them.”

Hermann raised his eyebrows, allowing Newt to continue as he plucked a kitten from the pile and hugged it to his chest, smiling at its tiny purrs.

“The one you have is Sweet Dee, she’s the only girl,” Newt said, ignoring Hermann’s brief interjection of: “That is not a cat name.”

“Anyway, that one,” Newt pointed out another kitten nearly identical to Hermann’s, “is Dennis. Then there’s Mac; he likes to think he’s a loner, but he’s really just a softie.” The biologist pointed out a black kitten that was considerably larger than the rest, then picked the last two up and held them up to his face, giggling at the feeling of the downy fur tickling his cheeks. “These two are my favorites. This one,” he indicated the one in his left hand, “is Frank, and the other one is Charlie.”

Just as his name was announced, the little calico launched out of Newt’s hand and landed on top of Dennis, who flopped over with a yowl as Charlie proceeded to run face first into Newton’s crotch. “I think he’s a little neurotic, to be honest, but that’s why I like him the best.”

Hermann just sighed heavily. “None of those are pet names.”

“Why not? I think they work perfectly. And they’ll all be fine living here as long as we have no holes in the walls, ‘cause cats can slip into anywhere, man.”

“I can assure you there are no holes in any of the walls,” Hermann replied, setting Dee back down with her brothers as he struggled to his feet and limped over to the bags Newton had left in the entryway. Newt watched him with uncharacteristic fondness; he loved when Hermann forewent the baggy sweaters and jackets for t-shirts and sweatpants.

“I understand the cat food and litter and whatnot, but why did you bring home building supplies?”

Newt watched the kittens for another second to make sure Trespasser wasn’t going to attack them or vice versa, then stood and followed Hermann to the hallway. “’Cause we’re gonna build them little pathways on the walls and stuff, like up to the windows so they can look out. I saw on the internet that cats like that stuff.”

Hermann raised his eyebrows once again in Newton’s direction and turned to reenter the living room. “Rephrase: you’ll be building the little pathways and stuff.”

Newt shrugged and plucked one of the cans of wet cat food from the floor. “Yeah, whatever, sure. I’m the engineer after all.” He ignored Hermann’s scoffing and flopped down next to him. “Have you ever tried this stuff?”

Hermann looked horrified. “Of course not!”

“What? It’s not like its poisonous or anything. It’s probably like spam,” Newt mused as he watched Trespasser scoot along on her belly through the crowd of kittens.

“If I ever saw your mouth anywhere near that stuff, I would kick you out.”

“But you’d still love me, right?” Newt asked with a smile as he leaned his head on his partner’s shoulder.

“I suppose,” Hermann replied grumpily. Newton grinned victoriously; it had been a good day after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Trespasser the Mini Schnauzer is introduced in [this story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2072763) .


End file.
